I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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