Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
