my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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