He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
