I got chris browned last night
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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