so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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