billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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