I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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