I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
