I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
