I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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