just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
