The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The power of my boobs compel you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
