We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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