Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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