When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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