how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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