no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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