He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
