Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
