my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
