This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
