I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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