Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
