I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
