Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We are two peas in an std pod
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
