I hate your face
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
