i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
