I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
