I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
