Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
