The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
