even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
