So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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