Need sex. Gaining weight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
