I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
