I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
