I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
