found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
