More tranny stories later!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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