You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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