Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
