I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
