I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
