brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
