Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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