Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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