I wish they made helmets for livers.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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