u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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