if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
