Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
