oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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